Cries of a Curious Follower

I am becoming the thing I have tried to avoid! Danger ahead! Road CLOSED! Turn back!

There is this story Jesus told that I have always viewed as applicable only to others. Certainly not to me. After all, I refuse to be fake (true story). Knowingly, that is.

It’s the story of Mary and Martha. Martha, miss busy herself, is taking on more load than she should, all the while resenting Mary who is just chilling with Jesus in the other room. She is openly resenting her sister for not helping.

When pointed out to Jesus just how lazy Mary is (by Martha of course), and how unfair it is that she isn’t helping with all the work in the kitchen—well, she is disappointed with the response she receives.

Jesus affirms Mary, not Martha.

For years, I’ve known of this historical story and essentially said, “duh” to Martha. If the Savior is in the house, hang with Him. Work can wait. It makes sense, doesn’t it?

How can Martha be so self-absorbed that she thinks work is more important than relationship?

Imagine my surprise when recently I hit full-blown burn-out.

The last five years have been both the most rewarding and challenging of my life. In the busyness of serving others, it is all too easy to forget to take care on one’s self.

I am Martha today, but being forced now to become Mary in truth.

In today’s busy, stressful, modern, technology-filled world, it’s easy to forget the basics. For instance, there is a season for everything. But not in this country. No, “the show must go on!”

The culture in this country is nuts. Simply nuts. It’s exhausting. I’ve lived in some of the busiest areas of this place (both coasts), climbing the ladder in Corporate America, taking on all the stress and somehow succeeding.

Then, I come to a small town, work in “ministry,” serving others, and I wipe out five years in. Why?

Because I didn’t recognize the “seasons.” There is a time for everything. Even rest.

Now, being a product of the USA, it is engrained in me to work hard all the time. But that’s not all in the recipe that made for this current state.

Nope.

Add to it the incessant drive of evangelicalism—which focused way too much on doing instead of being. Both are important, but doing must come from being. Not the other way around.

Now the clencher: I KNOW THIS ALREADY!

I have preached this. I taught my kids this! Yet, here I am . . . a burned out Martha in much need of rest. With all my good intention, my pure motivation, my commitment to authenticity—I became that which I despised. Easier to do than I realized.

But this isn’t the only story like this. When Jesus told His disciples to get in the boat and go to the other side, he rested and they panicked. When he was in the garden praying, they slept when He asked them to pray.

The right thing, but in the wrong time.

And what I love is even in the height of ministry and miracles, Jesus would abruptly stop and go away to be with the Father in rest.

Today I remember my time in Russia, El Salvador, Mexico, and South Africa. They all seemed to understand something that the culture in my country does not.

We are not machines. Seasons change, and so must our plans. There is a time to plant, a time to die, a time to rest, a time to harvest, a time to . . . learn.

This Martha is going to be Mary. And not just Mary, but merry. I’m canceling all that is not necessary and I’m going to rest and have fun.

“A merry heart does good like a medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22.

I’m ready to laugh again.